Stop beating up on yourself and get over it!

by — Jan. 27, 2001 (Comments)

“Get over it,” that’s what my girlfriend said to me. That’s difficult. There are so many things we really need to get over or we will continue to beat up on ourselves.

Do you feel guilty about something you perceive you said or did to someone? Your perception is not the same as someone else’s. However, if you feel you did or said something hurtful or out of line AND it is bothering you. Then you need to do something about it. STOP! Think about what it is that you did or said, think about what it is you can do that you would like to do to rectify the situation, and do it. Then, get over it. Maybe you did and maybe that person took the situation an entirely different way and all you need is to talk about it. However, because of the way you feel the situation is cluttering your mind and holding you back. Fix it if you can and if you can’t, you still need to go forward, but the main criteria is get over it.

Do you perceive that your mother and/or father did something to you or against you? I am not talking about something criminal, but something you perceive as wrong for you. Does it matter that much? Sometimes it does, but you are holding onto it and you need to let it go. Have you never committed a wrong against someone? Did you perceive that someone as deserving of your wrath? Or did you do something that you had no idea the consequences would become a situation that was hurtful? Parents love their children in spite of them (a little humor) and want only the best for them. If the parents can, they will do everything for their children to make sure they have a good start in life, they do well, and they have all the right tools to be successful. Not all parents are able to provide everything that may be needed, but they do provide love. If you are not comfortable talking with them, get to know them. Many of us do not really know our parents. They have a real life too. Their experiences are what shaped them and how they treated us. Remember that song, To Know You Is To Love You? I believe that the more we know and understand people, the more we can accept and love them.

I know that some people do not have parents and that is more than sad. However, God is a parent to all of us. I realize that some people shut their ears and eyes when Christians talk about God. It is a situation where we all have our opinions and we all believe our opinions to be the only correct way to believe or disbelieve. Recently, I have had conversations with a former devout catholic and a proposed atheist. Both persons, in my opinion, want and need to believe in something. However, in the past they have been bombarded (their words) by Christians who should have used gentle discussion. We need to realize the fragileness of people in regard to our responsibility as Christians.

In all cases, the way we actually live our lives will be perceived by others as the way we really are. In the case of our parents and our perceptions of them while we are growing up is how we judge whom they are. There is another whole story behind who they are. Would you like for your actions, at all times, to be the criteria people judge you by?

My association with my girlfriend and her words, get over it was in regard to the presidential election of 2000. The election was fine, the democrats won, however, the supreme court of the country stepped in and stopped it and appointed a president. Yes, I know there are differing opinions, however, the Majority voted for the other party, not the sitting or appointed party. It’s a bit difficult to get over it when it affects my economics, my retirement, and my grandchildren’s future. I need to take my own advice, examine the situation carefully, find out what I can do about it, either do it or not and GET OVER IT!

Yes, your opinion is important, but not when you thrust it on someone else, not when you treat your family hurtfully and not when you hurt yourself. People are human and they make mistakes, but your family is yours and the more you get to know them and understand them, you will have a better relationship with them. This will work with your friendships and with God. You can get to know him better through the Bible, His genealogy and family history. My new friend, Helen Dowd, offers a Bible study on

The most important thing to remember is that you can do it. You can rid yourself of the mind clutter because God doesn’t make junk, and you are the best. You are unique, the best, believe it, because it is true. Get over it!